I realize I left the story a little untold, but I have been uber busy, especially since she is sleeping a little less during the day.  She is, fortunately, sleeping through the night now, eight hours, in fact.

Just know that I am slowly recovering from the depression and I feel honest moments of pure joy when I look at her every once in a while now.  I have gotten off one of the meds and I should be able to reduce my other to its pre-pregnant levels in a few months.

I am still looking for full-time work, but meanwhile I am enjoying, most of the time, just being a mom and puttering around the house.  I never thought this feminist woman would say this, but I kinda like cooking meals for my husband and taking care of the kid.  Not that I want to do this forever.  I get a lot of satisfaction from working the little that I do.  It is just that motherhood has forced me to slow down and live in the now more than ever before.

I hope everyone is okay out in LJ land.  I miss my Columbus friends.  I hope to come out to visit sometime in August.  Depends on any job I might get, but that is what I'm planning.

Bye for now!

I haven't posted in a while due to some post-birth problems (I'll write about that later).  For those of you out there that aren't in the same loops as others, Miss Juniper Tanith Lorelied was born at 7:35PM on December 1, 2008.  She weighed only 4 pounds 12 ounces and was 17 inches in length.  She was not a premie, but she did have some problems with the cord we were unaware with, so she was small.  She is incredibly strong, however.  I keep saying she wasn't premie, just miniature.  If you want to see pictures, you can view them at http://www.flickr.com/photos/10124247@N08/sets/72157610628727747

I'm so sick of hearing about how Wall Street is affecting Main Street or some variation on that phrase.  It is like the pundits grab a phrase like a bulldog and won't let it go.  So I've done my own summaries of new twists on the phrase to make it new and fresh.

Miracle on 34th Street Bailout
After the economic bubble collapses, the  Walker family receives an eviction notice.  It seems that Kris Kringle had overextended his credit throughout his gift-giving and was having to foreclose on all of his properties.

Sesame Street Bailout
The kids have been held captive and tortured for years, but Snuffleupagus is large, in charge and not taking it anymore.  (Imagine Snuffleupagus tricked out like Rambo in the middle of breaking Elmo's neck.)

Elm Street Bailout
A drug dealer introduces himself to the neighborhood.  He suggests cocaine as a cure for their problems.  No one sleeps anymore.  The end.

Anyone else have some ideas? :-)

I am sooooooooo bored.  I am actually looking forward to cooking dinner just to have something to do.  I know, I know.  I should enjoy it while I can.

Boredboredboredboredboredboredbored, etc. 

I realize that pregnancy is a special time.  You look inward and see possibilities and connections.  It is a time to contemplate the future and the past.

Let me get one thing straight for the record:  I am not a saint.

I've become more and more frustrated as I become more and more obviously pregnant.  Everyone has begun a litany of advise, sure, and I am sure that will get old after a while.  What really irritates me is the honorary status I have somehow achieved because a sperm managed to finally swim its way to one of my recalcitrant eggs.  The pedestal treatment was fine at first.  Closer parking spots, people offering their seats, etc.  It is when I noticed people keeping their distance and even excusing my behavior that I became truly annoyed.  "She's just cranky because she's pregnant."  No, I am cranky because I can be a royal bitch and adding a second person to that equation hasn't really increased or decreased that any.

What's even more unbelievable to me is that this attitude is reflected by some of the pregnant women I know.  Now, I don't mean the physical limitations.  Like anyone who has a strain on their body, it is understood that they might not be able to do everything a healthy adult might do.  But watching women do spiteful, angry things and blame it on the pregnancy without any sense of personal responsibility just gets me livid.  I had severe depression my first trimester, but even then I recognized that part of the equation was in my control, even if my hormones were not.  I felt like committing suicide, but I didn't because I took the responsibility of taking care of myself and the baby seriously.

I know I'll probably ruffle some feathers with this one, but I don't care.  If you hit someone with a car, that is a horrible situation.  If you hit two people with a car, it is doubly horrible.  But if you hit a pregnant woman with a car, it is somehow tens, hundreds time more horrible.  I just don't get it.

So again for the record:  I am a sarcastic bitch that is capable of great acts of kindness and great acts of cruelty.  Everyone will make assumptions about me based on any of a number of external characteristics.  Just try not to see me as anything but human when you see the big bump in front. 

Does anyone think the concept of New Just Bunches! is a stupid concept?  It's called granola, idiots.  lol

I have lots of time on my hands lately, so I figure I might try this out again.  I'm not sure what I'll write about.  Maybe just stream of consciousness.  *shrug*  I've never been good at structured writing.

Things currently on my mind:

I am worried about my parents.  A lot of their retirement money is wrapped up in the stock market and that is totally shot right now.  Not that I was necessarily in favor of the bail-out package, I just watch the markets every once in a while.  I'm sure they'll be okay as long as their investment brokers don't panic and pull out their money.

I am trying not to worry about little Miss Juniper.  For some reason, in the past three weeks, I have had four separate occasions of light bleeding during this last trimester of my pregnancy.  I've been checked twice and the doctors can find no reason for me bleeding.  I know anxiety can contribute to the problem, so I'm trying to stay zen about it, but it is hard.  Lord knows she has been playing Lord of the Dance down there everyday, so I know that she is still strong.

Work could be a little less sporadic and I would be a bit happier.  My next scheduled date is not until October 28.  Still, it is such a wonderful relief to be back in a library helping people, that I can't claim to be unhappy about it.

Our neighbors that have no respect for property are moving out and decided that dropping a couch off of their balcony last night was the best option.  Now I am looking at the sad appearance of a broken Azalea bush outside of my window and an every-growing pile of garbage.  At least they'll be gone soon.

I need to take a shower, but I don't want to wake up Jackson.  He is so tired all of the time between working 40 hours a week and going to school 20 hours a week.  I love him dearly.